Ice Weasels
Posted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 9:58 pm
Because the craziness that is Ice Weasels, I showed up to "race" singlespeed on a day where it was 16 degrees and my best fitness of the season was in October. My goal for the day was too take as many hand-ups as possible and to not take it serious at all. I think succeeded. I showed up 3 hours early, hoping to participate in the heckling of the B's, Women and Jedi. However, it was so cold that I spent most of the time in the tent or in my car. (They had a HUGE tent with heater, kegs and Team CF bake sale.) I did muster up enough motivation to turn a pre-lap before the women's race. The ground was frozen solid, with deceptively slick spots of ice lurking under what appeared to be benign dirt and/or grass. I lost both tires on the most treacherous part, dumping it hard on my right side. I bent my derailleur hanger (Again...) and bruised my right fore-arm and ego. I promptly went to the tent for a bit of pre-drinking. Winter Warmer from a keg sure is good.
My warm-up consisted of sitting in my idling car with the seat heaters on. I got out 10 minutes before the start, but wished I had stayed in there longer. I had a second row call-up, but a 25 foot high giraffe cut in to the front row. He also cheated by starting at the 2 minute warning. 2 minutes later, I started quickly and was sitting in 6th or 7th when Adam St Germain got tangled in a stake right in front of me. Ten guys went around, which snapped me out of "race mode" and into "weasels mode". From then on, I only went hard enough to stay warm...and to get back to the beer feeds quicker. On lap 3, I took a beer and lost control, going over the bars in a barrel roll. I landed with some beer left in the cup, which impressed a few. I took some Peeps, I took some $1 bills. I froze my A$$ off.
They were calling the podium up when I crossed the finish line, but there was no one taking numbers. I guess they figured that only 5 or 10 people were racing, and they're probably just giving us finish positions based on position going into the bell lap. Not that I care. See you next season.
My warm-up consisted of sitting in my idling car with the seat heaters on. I got out 10 minutes before the start, but wished I had stayed in there longer. I had a second row call-up, but a 25 foot high giraffe cut in to the front row. He also cheated by starting at the 2 minute warning. 2 minutes later, I started quickly and was sitting in 6th or 7th when Adam St Germain got tangled in a stake right in front of me. Ten guys went around, which snapped me out of "race mode" and into "weasels mode". From then on, I only went hard enough to stay warm...and to get back to the beer feeds quicker. On lap 3, I took a beer and lost control, going over the bars in a barrel roll. I landed with some beer left in the cup, which impressed a few. I took some Peeps, I took some $1 bills. I froze my A$$ off.
They were calling the podium up when I crossed the finish line, but there was no one taking numbers. I guess they figured that only 5 or 10 people were racing, and they're probably just giving us finish positions based on position going into the bell lap. Not that I care. See you next season.